The New Rules for Bridesmaids

If you could guess the number one thing I get asked about the most as a wedding planner in Scottsdale, what would you figure it would be? Questions on vendors? What about design or the big whammy of the wedding budget? Nope, nope and nope! Some of people who reach out to me the most with questions are bridesmaids, asking about their duties!

Let’s face it y’all, TIMES HAVE CHANGED! More and more brides are opting for untraditional weddings and are funding it in untraditional ways. So, what does that mean for you when your bestie gets engaged? Did you really know what you are signing up for when you said “yes!” to that super cute balloon/box/other awesome way your BFF asked you to be in her wedding? The duties vary from wedding to wedding, depend on your relationship to the bride, the way the bride is funding her wedding and how involved her family is in the planning of her wedding. It also varies greatly depending on if you are a bridesmaid or a maid of honor.

Most bridesmaids know the financial responsibility of their dress will be on them as well as some gifts and other minor responsibilities. But…


What about the bachelorette party?

The bachelorette party is most typically planned by the maid of honor with some hints from the bride and is funded by either only the maid of honor or the maid of honor and bridesmaids. Unless the bride is wanting an out of state bachelorette party, the financial responsibility of a typical bachelorette party is fairly low.


What if she DOES want an out of state bachelorette party?

Here’s where the new rules come in gals! If the bride is wanting to have her bachelorette party out of state, its upon her understanding that finances will have to be an open and honest discussion. Most groups of girls rent a condo or bunk up two to a room in order to cut down on cost, with everyone paying for themselves. The shenanigans will still be organized by the bride and maid of honor, with maid of honor typically picking up the tab for the bride’s stay. It is also on the maid of honor to figure out room costs and handle all the bridesmaid’s payments.


We have to throw her a shower!? (Friends reference anyone?)

Yes, the bridal shower! It is typically one of the most expensive duties as a bridesmaid or maid of honor. If her mother is involved, many times mother of the bride will help with the bill or choose to pay for it altogether or other close female relatives such as a grandmother or aunt may step in as well. If you are close with her family, don't be afraid to ask if they want to participate in the planning! Many times family members step back for fear of stepping on bridesmaid's or maid of honor's toes. So find that close female relative, and ask if she would like to help! In most cases, she would be delighted and help with the finances. (yay!)


Night before the wedding slumber party-

This is where it gets sticky! By this time, the bride is stressed out, her finances are all tapped out, but she still wants to have fun with her girls! If she chooses this extra expense, it is up to her to foot the bill. If she decides room arrangements that are not comfortable for you and the other bridesmaids (like too many people to a room, or having to sleep on a couch) Feel free to offer up some money in lieu of a wedding gift! After all, most brides are not looking for gifts from their bridesmaids on their wedding day considering all the financial responsibilities that come along with the gig!


Now that you are armed with knowledge, go be one badass bridesmaid!

Do you have other questions about the “new rules” of wedding etiquette?
Shoot us an email and we will answer it for you!


Photo Credit: Lunabear Photography